Anxiety can affect people in different ways, and the behaviours used to cope with anxious feelings do not always provide lasting relief. Some responses may feel helpful in the moment but can gradually make it harder to tolerate uncertainty, face uncomfortable situations or manage anxious thoughts. Therapist Jeffrey Meltzer highlights three common habits that can contribute to this cycle. One of the behaviours he points to is avoiding situations that trigger anxiety.

Avoidance can provide immediate relief because a person does not have to confront the uncomfortable situation. However, repeatedly staying away from situations that cause fear or discomfort can prevent a person from learning that they may be capable of handling them. Over time, this can make the avoided situation feel even more threatening. Another habit is constantly seeking reassurance. People experiencing anxiety may repeatedly ask friends, family members or others whether everything is going to be fine.

While reassurance can temporarily reduce worry, relying on it repeatedly may make it harder for a person to tolerate uncertainty independently. The relief can also be short-lived, leading to another cycle of worry followed by the need for reassurance. A third pattern involves becoming overly focused on controlling anxious thoughts and feelings. Trying to eliminate every uncomfortable thought or emotion can sometimes make people more aware of them. Anxiety is often accompanied by uncertainty, and attempting to achieve complete certainty about every possible outcome may keep the mind locked into repeated checking, analysing or worrying.

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Meltzer’s point is not that people should simply stop feeling anxious or force themselves into situations that feel overwhelming. Rather, recognising unhelpful coping patterns can be an important step towards responding to anxiety differently. Gradually facing manageable challenges, reducing dependence on repeated reassurance and learning to tolerate some uncertainty can help build confidence in dealing with uncomfortable emotions.

It is also important to recognise that anxiety can vary considerably from person to person. What helps one individual may not work for another, and persistent or severe anxiety can interfere with daily activities, relationships, sleep or work. In such cases, speaking with a qualified mental-health professional can help identify the underlying concerns and develop appropriate coping strategies.

The key takeaway is that coping with anxiety is not always about eliminating uncomfortable feelings immediately. Some habits that provide short-term comfort may unintentionally maintain the anxiety cycle. Becoming aware of avoidance, reassurance-seeking and other unhelpful responses can help people make more deliberate choices about how they respond when anxiety arises.

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